I'm a system! What does that mean?

2024 was my year for this. It was very hard for a variety of reasons, but I at long last was able dive into this idea that I had understood cursorily for a long time but that evaded me (by its very nature!) at every turn. With time, patience, compassion, and support, I ended the year with an incredible amount of self-awareness--As if I am finally living something more than 10% of a whole person's life.

While many people understandably want to keep their being-a-system completely private, I believe that many people would benefit from thinking about what systems are and can be. And, if I'm trying to make real friends, they need the opportunity to meet all sides of me. And how can they do that if they don't even know there "are" sides?

So, this zine was born. I've received some "get to know me" mini-zines, often in lieu of business cards, so some credit must be due there.

Being open about being a system is new, exciting, and a little scary, but thus far very rewarding. Even if you (the person reading this) and I never meet or become friends, I hope this can inspire you to think about yourself and the world a little differently, or encourage you to express yourself more honestly in some way.

I am hoping to make a more in-depth system-related zine at some point. Everything I discuss and recommend should be taken seriously but held lightly--No framework tells a complete picture. But for now, 3 book recommendations:

• Coping With Trauma-Related Dissociation (Steele, Van der Hart, Boon, 2011; Available in shadow libraries)
  • Accessible, insightful, focused, and practical, starting with the fundamentals of grounding and the "phobia of inner experience" that characterizes dissociation, and getting into specific issues, including how to be assertive, or to manage your sleep schedule.
  • Even if you don't consider yourself to be a person with a trauma history, I think it can be a very valuable read. Whether you should start with this or with IFS depends probably on which seems more relevant to your experience (though I will say--Just because it doesn't seem relevant doesn't mean it isn't).
• Internal Family Systems is a therapeutic modality that forms the basis of a lot of my current beliefs about being a system. I like it because it is diagnosis-neutral, non-pathologizing and compassion-oriented. Below are 2 books I like:
  • No Bad Parts (Richard C. Schwartz, 2021; archive.org link)
    • Written by the creator of IFS. It's a very accessible primer straight from the source where he describes how the model came to be, how it has evolved, etc. I read it in 2024 and don't have a formal review of it, but it's a good basis of understanding.
    • Some challenging areas:
      • The book mentions contemporary politics, including the COVID pandemic response and Donald Trump's presidency. 4 years (as of writing) after the publication, some of it can feel... depressingly optimistic, or even out-of-touch.
      • IFS has spiritual elements though it is agnostic. There are parts of me who are very skeptical of spiritual experiences and generally unsentimental. If any talk of "vibrations" or "Source" makes you wrinkle your nose... I'm with you. 
        
    • I mention these gripes because parts need to trust in the process, and these relatively minor complaints can majorly disrupt that trust. Try not to disqualify everything based on these small roadblocks. Take what works and leave what doesn't.
  • Self-Therapy Workbook: An Exercise Book For The IFS Process (Bonnie J. Weiss, 2013; available on shadow libraries)
    • Was written to accompany Jay Earley's "Self-Therapy"... Except I've only read the workbook. It's a relatively simple introduction that can allow you to test the waters with Internal Family Systems concepts and get straight into exercises.
    • It's more to-the-point, if maybe missing some of the nuances. Some of the parts described in examples may feel a bit simplistic if you're dealing with complex trauma.
    • Pretty much the "gentlest", "least involved" option to dip your toe into the waters.